Tolerance & Being Open Minded

The subject has been coming up a lot lately. As I try to get to know the man he’s become we have wonderful discussions about the world and how we feel about it.

Does he seem more open or less open-minded? I’d say you’re as open-minded as you want to be and that’s a good thing. He’s the smartest person I know, but not the wisest. I think my Dad is the wisest person I know, and I can’t believe I just wrote that but it’s true. That either doesn’t say much about people I know or I really think my Dad is an OK guy, after all these years.
I think a smart person would be constantly trying to correct the views of the people around him. I think a wise person would accept that other people have views of their own, respect that and only give information and opinions when asked.
I had a pretty bad breakdown in the early 90’s. It was a good thing. Like a release of all the shit that had happened to me. I was in an abusive relationship with a guy who was horrible to me, but I couldn’t see it at the time. He dumped me, begged me back, betrayed me and I lost it. What did I do? Well, from what I remember, I was bent on killing him and then myself, but to be honest, I don’t think I could have carried out the whole plan. I don’t think I could really kill myself. So, instead of killing him and ending up in prison, I was carried away by a cop and not charged, but brought in for a psych evaluation. This quack let me go home after I lied and told him that there was someone at home to look after me. There wasn’t anyone to look after me. I was on my own, and then it hit me. I was on my own, and it was this guy’s entire fault and I hated him and was going to kill him. Thank goodness I had the presence of mind to see my doctor and have him check me into the ward. So, I cried for about 3 days straight, couldn’t eat and wouldn’t let them put me on any drugs. The law here is great that way. No minimum holding periods, they can’t force you to take drugs. I think I was in there for about 4 days.

There was this Irish nurse and she was wonderful. Like a favourite auntie. She held me in her arms and rocked me while I cried and asked, “What is a smart, beautiful girl like you doing in here?” I’m crying as I write this. She carried on to say just the right things to me. She reminded me of some things I had forgotten about myself, things that the abusive relationship had literally beaten out of me. That day, my destructive emotions started to slowly leak out of me. I think all the hate and misery started to leave and be replaced by a calm knowing that I’ll be ok. I did ask for help from that unseen, all powerful entity; not God, per say but just what ever it is that created the laws of the chaos. I don’t think I can attribute anything specific to prayer, but it did make me feel better. Thinking about the universe and the chaos and order made my problems feel small and made me feel a lot stronger.

Open minded? I’m not sure what that means. Do I believe things people tell me without proof? No. But I respect their right to believe it. We are the sum total of our experience on this earth. If someone wants to believe that thinking something makes it so, then, more power to them. One man’s delusion is another man’s reality. I judge actions on one basis, taught to me by an art teacher when I was in Junior High. It’s wrong if it hurts you or someone else. If you’re doing something that hurts you, I will be less likely to slap you along side the head and tell you to stop. I’ll let a smoker get on with killing themselves slowly, as long as they don’t do it in my house, where as if a man is beating up his girlfriend or wife, I will do all in my power to see that the man is stopped. If someone wants to take drugs, fine, let them. That action looses a measure of my respect, but it is your body and decision, to a certain extent. I'll save my diatribe on drugs for another time.

There are laws that restrict practices of certain ‘open-minded’ people; some drugs, sex with animals, sex with siblings and other members of your family and other forms of ‘self expression’. Laws reflect the society’s customs and social morays. To what extent should self-freedoms be regulated? I’ve always struggled with this question. For the most part, I think that people, as a group, are pretty stupid and need to be told how to live, with strict guidelines. The other side I argue with myself is that, who has the right to tell me how to live? When the ‘powers that be’ decide that ice-skating is too dangerous a sport and ban it, I’ll have a problem.
posted by KiwiChick at 5:47 PM