Long weekends and Changes

The long weekend was somewhat eventful. After being away for 7 months it was really great to catch up with friends. This may sound strange but I didn't have many friends of my own until I separated from hubby in May of 2000 and then moved away that July. I'm currently living in 'the house'. His house. I've ended up back in the den of sadness. We're meant to be having another go at our marriage, but my heart is not in it for things I haven't explained here yet. When I left for the States to help look after my mum, I sent all my belongings back to his house. It's felt like a huge step backwards, but he's not here yet, he's been in California on a business trip so he hasn't been here since I got back to NZ. It's been nice not having him around, but the place has some horrible memories for me, so I had to get away for the long weekend and catch up with people who are just MY friends.

'Jennifer' is one of my dearest friends here in NZ. Out of all my friends here, I've known her the longest. We fell out of touch for a long time, but I was so glad when she contacted me when she did. We have a stronger friendship now than we ever had. She's an amazing lady and although she's a little older than I am we have so much in common and can talk for hours on end without looking at a watch. So I saw 'Jennifer' on the way. She was heading south and I was heading north.

After lunch and talking for hours, we both got back on the road. I made phone calls to announce my arrival and make sure my hostess was still keen for me to stay. She was and I caught up with her parents first and she joined us after she finished work. She's a little younger than me, but again, we have so much in common and can talk for hours. And I'm proud of the fact that she's my friend. She was full of news and gossip so we spend hours talking about what went on the past 7 months I was away and I kept her up way to late for her 7am start. She had to work the weekend, so I busied myself catching up with other people while she was at work.

There was a special guy I was seeing up there. It wasn't love, but it was comfortable companionship. I phoned him and it turned out he had a few days off. We caught up and I was really pleased to find out he’d gone on a bus tour of the South Island when I was away in the States. We had talked about him doing this before I left and I got him some information from the Internet. He's incredibly shy and misunderstood and I could write a whole chapter about this sweet, lovely man. He needs to get out and socialise more. Nothing would please him more than meeting the girl of his dreams and get married and have a few kids. So, he did the trip and met some nice people and was quite keen on a few of the Swedish girls but nothing eventuated. He’d had a flat mate in for about 6 weeks. He was keen on her best friend, and something did eventuate but didn't develop into a relationship. He had just kicked the flat mate out because she was a bit messy, and he is incredibly anal about his space. Then I got a special treat. His parents arrived. His parents have been married for almost 60 years. They are two of the sweetest people and the way they care about each other is inspiring. We had lunch and they politely asked what I was up to now that I’m back from the States. They knew I was married but were considerate enough not to bring the subject up. It was a nice visit. They chatted about the trip they took to the States years ago and how much they loved it. He’s a retired truck driver. They left and the guy and I were left to talk more about his brothers and sisters and how their kids were getting so big. It was getting late so we decided to go to a movie and have a late dinner. It was a bit like old times, but there was no handholding or kisses. I hope we will remain good friends and he meets the girl of his dreams.

The last night I was there, my hostess didn’t have an early start the next day so we decided to go out for a meal and a drink. My treat for her putting up with me for the long weekend. We had our meals and talked until our food came, it felt like hours. The service was terrible. There was some loud talking and laughing at the table just behind me. We turned to see a few guys with a few girls. One of the guys was really loud and turned to us and mentioned that we should share our dinners with him because he was hungry. They were all obviously three sheets to the wind. I looked at my friend and she mouthed ‘maybe later’. So we ate our dinners and watched the people at the other table. We both noticed one of the guys. He was tan with yellow & grey shorts, a navy blue T-shirt and sunglasses perched on top of his head. Seeing my friend eyeing him up, I teased her and said, “I’ll flip you for him.” We laughed because she knows how confused and complicated my love life is and I had no intention of complicated things further, no matter how gorgeous the guy was.

We had our fill of dinner, brought over what was left and the loud hungry guy, his name we found was Andrew, finished my pizza. My girlfriend and I decided we would go on to another bar to look for the manager, who was a friend of mine. As we left, we mentioned where we were going and the gorgeous one, Mark, said he’d see us there. “Too easy.” I thought to myself. After going back to her place and dropping off one car and my dog we returned and sure as eggs, they were there. We played it cool and didn’t go over to their table. If they were interested, they would come over to us. A few wines later Mark was over at our table chatting to us. He was very obviously interested in me. What’s a girl to do? I was very flattered. Even though he was quite drunk. I’m kicking myself for not getting a picture of him. We carried on chatting in to the wee hours. The bar closed and we all got a taxi to a friend’s house. When I woke up in the morning, I was a little seedy so asked one of the guys if I could borrow a pair of shorts and a T-shirt to go for a swim. They thought I was nuts because it was early and a little chilly out but I dove in a few times and it helped the get rid of the head ache and the vagueness in my brain. Perhaps it was a form of self punishment for flirting so unashamedly that night. Mark still seemed keen and I don't think he wanted to say good bye but I did and he gave me his email address and we got back to my friends flat and it was still early, about 8am, but I had forgotten her jacket that I borrowed. After breakfast, I said my goodbyes to my hostess, and promised I would get her jacket back. I put a note on the door of the place that I woke up in and then left town to meet up with another friend for lunch in another city.

Mark was really good and returned my friend’s jacket to her. And I’m just kicking myself about not getting a picture of him. How bad is that? Like a trophy? The engraving on the bottom would say “I could have had this guy.” When he returned her jacket to her at her work, everyone was staring at him and wanting to know who he was. *sigh*

She and I both agreed that if my life wasn’t so damned complicated, Mark would be a most excellent choice of guy to date, but alas, he was on his way back to London for a few months and then was going to continue his travels around the world. He's a civil engineer, works in a consultancy firm in London and even though the conversations were filtered through a decent amount of alcohol, he seemed to have an excellent brain. It was an exercise in ego boosting and I think I will live on that for a long time to come.

What was to happen later that day, I have yet to fully comprehend. It was a ‘coming to my senses’ sort of experience. When you delude yourself for so long, it’s hard to clear your mind. It was like waking up from a really good dream. I just wanted to fall asleep again and wish for the dream to continue where it left off. But you can’t sleep away your life and you can’t continue to delude yourself. Change is difficult, but necessary. Not all together unexpected, but things didn’t play out like I thought they would. I think that’s all I can say about that right now. I'm feeling hurt and a bit broken hearted.

Remember when I told you there would be things I needed you to be understanding of? Are you feeling very understanding right now?

posted by KiwiChick at 2:00 PM